The End

18 October 2016




Well, the time has come.....  this road is coming to a close.

It is time for a new blog!   Because I'm about to become a MOM!

Say goodbye to TakeJune!  I started this blog almost 3 years ago.  I wrote while I was a single professional, into my courtship with Ryan, marriage, buying a house, and pregnancy!  What a load of transitions!  With a million trips and soulful experiences along the way.  And now, I'll let all these posts remain as a time capsule for myself, family, and friends!

We are moving over to my a new blog to capture a fresh, clean slate with the baby transition:

Joy in the Wind 

Let me know when you have arrived by leaving a comment over there!

Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Upward and onward,






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Birthing Meditation

17 October 2016

I did a cool birthing meditation the other night.

I imagined a small bucket of cool gel next to me.  It was being spread over my belly, causing the iciness to run through me and numb me and cool me down.

Then the bucket grew a little larger and it was a warm soapy mixutre.  It was rubbed over my belly, and I felt the sensations of soft, silky warmness spreading through me.

Then the bucket grew larger into a frothy foam that was just lightly chilled.  It was rubbed over my belly and soothed me again.

The bucket kept growing larger and larger, and I'd use my imagination to invent new textures and temperatures each time.  Bubbles.  Massages.  All different types of touch.  Until the bucket grew large enough into a nice warm tub, and I could climb in and feel completely enveloped in warmth.

Upward and onward,


Surrender

Prayed so much on Saturday.  What can I do to come out of my anxiety when it hits so hard?

Open.

Be non-resistant.  

Surrender.

Open up my body, unclench my fists, lay down and spread every part of me out in welcoming openness.  Just let the painful energy rush through me, be overcome, flooded, open, allow it.


Approach life this way.  Open.  Let it come, whatever it is.  If it is unpleasant, don't curl up and be panicked or frustrated against it.  Just allow it as what it is.

Upward and onward,


The scriptures lighten

15 October 2016




Today, I felt beyond defeated.  I had an anxiety attack last night that left me so tired.

I know that I am subconsciously feeling the weight of upcoming labor, and it's compressing out of me through mental hyperactivity.  Anxiety is so painful and difficult.

Early this morning, I visited my friend Ashley to support her in her new business; she is so alive and full of light!

When I returned home, Ryan was still resting.  So I sat down in my reading chair and opened the scriptures to the second half of Mosiah.  I read and read and read.  I engrossed myself in the stories.  In the spirit.  In the declarations of repentance and forgiveness.  In the rising of Alma the Younger, his rebirth, the restoration of himself into a man of such honor.  In the patterns of war and pride that are continual on every page of the book.  The good never goes without pressure from the bad.  And I likened that to the course of one person.  The good and wholeness of one individual never goes without pressure and force from the bad.  I have felt the duality of good and evil inside of me lately.  I cried to Heavenly Father earlier, just like Nephi did in the Psalms of Nephi, about why I can't overcome these parts of myself that aren't all that becoming.

And the whole time I read, the spirit filled me brighter, stronger, with hope.  I so desperately need all of those things.  I thought of how the world anchors into me deeply.  Emotions, experiences.  Attachment for me is deep, and I grow weighted.  I feel like I'm always releasing.  Release.  Release.  Release.  I seek to keep myself touching all things loosely (just like I talk of here).

And after reading the scriptures, I felt the loosening.  I felt the softer touch.  The lighter insides.  The holiness that surrounds me and protects.  I NEED that.  I need all of this so badly.  I need God in my life.  I need this Spirit.  I need this unmangingly.  especially right now. 

I love these scriptures.


Upward and onward,






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Our Literal Family Tree

12 October 2016


Ryan and I went on a date this weekend to go tree shopping!

My brother Trevor had just left town, after staying with us for a week and a half, doing some clean-up landscaping for us.  This 1/4 acre lot that we live on is a garden.  We have every fruit tree and bush imaginable, and it was fun throughout the year to see what perennial plants kept popping up in the many flower beds.  But over time, and with our priority on other home projects, the plants grew bigger and bigger and bigger.  As did the weeds.  Occasionally Ryan and I would head outside and have a heck of a time in the late summer dusk, ripping out weeds from the beds.  But eventually all the plants were just too much, and we lived in a little forest of shrubbery and weeds.  Our house feels pretty secluded and charming with all the trees and plants, but we decided a mass exodus of plants needed to happen, and then we would begin mostly anew, planting flowers and shrubs and fruit trees that looked a little cleaner and a little less sporadic.  So that's what Trevor came down to do for us.

One particular tree in our front yard was axed on the final day Trevor was here.  It was dropping a strange under-ripe peach, or so we suspect.  Shedding pellets that were green and sickly and fuzzy-in-the-wrong-kind-of-way.  And each time I mowed, I had to pick them all up.  We decided to find a tree that wasn't so.... messy.

So, off Ryan and I went tree shopping!

We quickly found a Dappled Willow that was grafted into a tree.  It was perfect.

I feel like trees carry such symbolism of family roots and growing a posterity, which means even more to us as we are on the eve of bringing Baby Girl into the world.  I'm so excited that Ryan and I planted our first tree together, right as we start our literal family.  Now, we will watch this tree grow and grow, extending its branches, strengthening its roots, and drawing closer to the Sun.  Just like we will watch our children do.

I'm sure we'll gather plenty of memories sitting under this tree together as a family.

Upward and onward,




I loved sitting in my reading chair and watching Ryan plant the tree.  He's so handsome!

This tree is in the perfect view from the front window.

There she is!  Our Dappled Willow.

And this is what she will become.
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