Here is the story I promised several of you... A dating story gone horribly awry. Could there be a better story?
So there is a game that I enjoy playing every once in awhile. My interest in this game comes and goes, mostly depending on my boredom level on Sunday evenings.
It only involves swiping with the thumb, and usually I see how fast I can swipe with my left thumb. Sounds like fruit ninja. WRONG. It is men's faces. And I let my friends play the game under my personal profile if they want to. Leslie and her husband have played and won a level. And once Mace and I played together and won a couple rounds. Well one of these rounds resulted in a date.
If anyone isn't catching onto this "game," I'm explaining no further.
The night of the date, I told this gentleman that I would prefer to meet him at the chosen location, instead of having him come pick me up. Because even though he's probably the most normal person in the world, one can never be so sure. Which he later told me that aside from thinking I was already one of the most intimidating women he's ever learned about, my desire to drive separately really upped his nerves. Good. I would hate for a man to feel calm and at ease around me.
So he tells me the meeting location, and while I'm headed down there, he calls to say it's not exactly as he pictured it. As he said, "for the girl that wants to drive her own car, this isn't going to help her feel any more safe."
Yep, I met him all alone in a dark parking lot next to the Payson, Utah temple, where no other human exists for at least a 30 mile radius. He was in the shadows when I got out of my car, so my heavy laughter blended with his low hello in the darkness, and then I reassured him that this was fine because I only have half a face anyway. Like Rigoletto, ya know?
So we decide to head into town where the area is more lit. Though no matter how many lights are lit in Payson, it's still a prime location for a murder story.
Once we're more in the city, we go for a walk around the streets. We stop in front of a super eerie home, reading the sign out front that claims it as a historic site and notes its background. We are standing at the front gate of black metal spears, staring through the dark labyrinth of branches at this tall silhouette of a house. A couple lights are on inside, but no cars or any sign of habitat are present at all. The entire scene is just creepy.
So we decide to take a picture. Turns out retarded people in scary movies are just as retarded as real life people!
We turn away from the house for just a moment to take our picture, and then I turn back to face the building as my phone loads the image. I look down at it:
Uh, shadow... What? So not there before or after the photo! And let's not forget that we are strangers who only just met moments earlier after connecting over a phone app, and now we just caught the FREAKING GRIM REAPER in a photo in the middle of nowhere!
So I start kind-of running, but mostly just jumping in place, laughing, but mostly just frightened shrieking. Then I show Mr. Gray Face the picture and he starts freaking out as well. And I'm not really sure what he is doing because I am too preoccupied waving my arms uncontrollably in the air.
And somehow I made it safely back in my bed that night.
A lesson was learned, I'm sure. But I'm not really sure what the lesson is yet, so I'll wait 10 years and then recount this night. Maybe the adventure reigning in my blood will be a little more diluted by then.
Upward and onward,