Nobody can make it out here alone

29 May 2014

Between meetings today, I head out to go drop off my CPA application in person.  It feels more legit that way. 

Walked that sucker straight over to the SLC Professional Licensing Office.  All the papers clipped neatly together, organized more perfectly than anything they’ve ever seen before.   

I waited behind a woman bouncing around in booty shorts, covered in tats, purple hair, while I stood still in my pencil skirt, bow-tied blouse, holding my black folder.  She finishes.  I approach the window and slide my full application packet to this cute blonde lady. 

She instantly congratulates me, asking me about my experience with the tests, “I’ve been giving out lots of cosmetology licenses today, but this is the first CPA.  Incredible.  Good for you.”  We talked about her friend who is a single mom of 4 boys, working full-time, and just can’t pass these license tests because of the time commitment.  I chime in with understanding.  Then she scans my check, stamps my packet, and slides a receipt back through the window – because the cost of time for someone to read all that... apparently $85.   

“Again, congratulations, this really is a huge accomplishment.  You're license will be active in a few days,”  she says, as I turn on my heels to leave.  

I clutch that tiny little itty bitty receipt with both hands while I walk back out through the giant lobby.  Heels clicking and echoing real loud, I can't get over how small the receipt is.  This is it?  No.  This is it!  CONFLICTED.  What should I be feeling?

This just seems so...  anti-epic.  Shouldn't there be a button I press that cheers?  Or balloons falling from the ceiling?  Should I ask the security guards for a hug?  Can I dance on their desk, while they blink the lights, and I rip up my little receipt and make it rain?  But the security guards are half-comatose. My only option seems to be running outside and taking a selfie.  Which is the worst celebration I can think of.

I just feel like this is such a big moment!

But I feel so strange that it's only huge in my heart, as it's not seen by or shared with anyone else.  I want to feel it with another.  I want someone to be right beside me, stop to grab my face in their hands and say, “Holy cow you wondrous little woman you.  Look at you!” 

But... I have a meeting with my project manager in 5 minutes, so there's no time to make deep friends with a hobo.

At least I'm going to lunch with my friend Lib.  Who I call Steve and he calls me Nicole, because we've learned restaurants work better with generic white people names.  And then babysitting for my hometown girl, Joelle.  And then dinner and a full evening with my Sisterhood, while Julie and our Man House will miss me on our Thursday night food trucks adventure.

So I guess people are still around.  I won't end with any other claim than my life is full of the biggest grins and finest support.  Even if no one is present in such a grand moment. 

Here's to a smiley life.

Upward and onward,

Post-script shout-out:  Deeply saddened by Maya Angelou's passing this morning.  She's in my top 3 of my Most Admired People.  One of my absolute strongest models for life.

One of her poems is directly relevant to my feelings today:

Image Source


  1. Holy cow! You wondrous little woman you! Look at you!!!

    It is an amazing accomplishmesnt even if the fanfare is completely "anti-epic".

    I love the pictures you draw with words. Your posts make me smile.

  2. first off, CONGRATULATIONS!!! that is a huge accomplishment. second, i laughed out loud when i read this..."This just seems so... anti-epic. Shouldn't there be a button I press that cheers? Or balloons falling from the ceiling? Should I ask the security guards for a hug? Can I dance on their desk, while they blink the lights, and I rip up my little receipt and make it rain? you a clever, my friend.