04 August 2014

I need a moment to just be real.

The little children in Africa would sing, "I'm feeling sumthin!"  That's how I should start the majority of my posts.

Anyway, I went out to lunch with a girlfriend today who shared her recent realization that she may have bipolar disorder and will find out the results tonight.  I listened intently to her whole story, and she never spoke out of fear or shame, but out of peace.  A human in acceptance of her human experience.  I loved it.  Because I felt more space open up inside of me to accept my own inner cracks, and for the rest of the day, she and I were able to spread the energy with others in opening more self-accepting space inside of themselves.  No shame, no guilt.   

I’m all about encouraging acceptance of the human experience.  The messy, the unsure, the labeled, the alone.  It’s all a part of the Earth path, and it serves very well to see the beauty in the underside.

Now I juxtapose.  

Because hours later, I read an article written by that man in my past.  It was all about some aggressive prosecution he’s received for preaching “The Truth” - his high and mighty knowledge and golden ticket to heaven.  And he chastised all the people reacting against him by saying that their negative reaction was evident that they just don’t know this religious stuff as much as he does.  And then he called out to “his people,” saying - "we must keep preaching – don’t waste time trying to explain to these people what they will not understand – it won’t work.  These people won’t come to their senses until Jesus comes again, and then they will see.And then a list of Church articles and links. 

...  Because that's how I'm persuaded.  And also it makes perfect sense that we save all that hard work for Jesus to do when He comes.

What in THE HELL???

What are these hoighty-toighty benches of Truth where we just shove people off if they don’t “get it,” and then point at them and say someday God will show you your errors!  Stomping their face in the dirt because they don’t SEE.  See what, exactly?  YOUR high, supreme Truths and ways of thinking?  People aren’t grasping for these grandiose laws of the universe when they have very personal pain and questions that need to be cared for first.  The Gospel to me is not dropping really high-level doctrine from a holy skyscraper onto people’s heads, and then shaming them for still feeling lost and choking.  It's connecting with them down in the dust - first being aware that we are all making sense of this journey together.  A loving work that we should be helping Jesus perform today.

And I’m aware this hits me more close to home because I was pushed off the holy bench by these very people.  Shoved right out of the way on their forceful quest for Godhood and then trampled over and over again, because I wasn't "righteous enough."  Their view of the Gospel was all about self-attainment and how The Truth serves them, and anyone stepping in their way was dehumanized and cast out.  Those are the ways of "God's chosen people"??  It was so horrible. 

But man, when I lifted my face out of the mud and saw the world from that ground level – “The Gospel” took on a whole new meaning.  By God’s great hand, luckily I was no longer living in a world of pretentious bench sitters, I was now in the muck with every other freaking human wrestling through the brutality of Earth life.  And they were the best, most compassionate, most beautiful people I’d ever known.   People trudging and scraping and trying to find their truth and deal with their demons, as much as I was trying to understand mine.  Mormon, non-Mormon, male, female.  Just human souls trying to find some anchor.  I learned of their specific trials and journey’s.  And we did not sit in a circle and shove scriptures up each other’s noses.   We locked arms and said “let’s find our way together.  Your story, my story – I think God will be a good companion for both of us.  Let’s try to find Him and understand Him in our own way.”  And Light came to each of us through each other.  Through helping each other clean off the grime and trying to find joy within it.  With the forgotten, the friendless, the mistreated, the unspoken.  And little fires between us, inside of us, kept the path lit enough for us to keep moving on.  It was lowly love.

That's the Gospel to me.

Connection by sharing your meager little match with another person.  Not blowing your grandiose, perfectly white blow torch in their face.  

Light is love.  Let's start there.

Upward and onward,

Last time I stepped on this soap box - here.  Email me for access.


  1. Oh I loved this post Chantel! It's actually a topic that has been on my mind quite a but lately. I just couldn't quite place my finger on how to define it. Until I came across this article on spiritual abuse:

  2. Seriously. Thank you. This past year, I have been directly told condescending comments similar to those, and it has been incredibly painful and marginalizing. I appreciate what you had to say in response.