Learning to come alive

27 August 2014

Kersti said something to me this Sunday that really hit me, as she held her tea mug, and Julie, she, and I sat in our living room nature incubator, talking about our undercurrents.  When I finally opened up about my own and softly cried, Kersti tells me -

"You are more human than most people are even capable of being.  You are one of the most human people I know."

Hours later, she is sitting next to me in the Mother's Lounge at church, with her hand on my back, and allowing me to be just that - a human.  And I don't have to say anything to her, because she understands - I'm just a human purging far too much fear than its finite frame is equipped to hold, as I allow the surge of fright to flood through me, and still find my pulse.  I let my body tremble, go frail and terrified, quivering.  Stories I don't want to talk about, but embedded trauma all the same.  Because what we don't allow our body to release will never be removed.  And Kersti just sits by my side while I do.

Then we finish our meetings, head back to the car, and laugh about the day.

Humans need human friends.  The kind that just allow us to be, exactly as we are, and hold our body while it goes under and comes out more alive.  I'm so happy to have her.  One of the best I know.  Also, it's interesting to be a Spirit connected to such greater Light, aware of a greater existence than this, but still on a corporeal path.  I guess that's the whole learning journey God intended for us-

to learn to come alive by being human.

"Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix."

Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

Upward and onward,


  1. Oh my goodness, I'm sitting here in my office and starting to cry, hoping that no surprise clients show up because this post is all I can think about right now. Love you!!!

  2. So sorry that you have these attacks. What the heck triggers them? You are a wonderful writer.

  3. "Humans need human friends". Oh man, how true this is. That's why I love you so dang much!!!! You are the humanest of human friends :)