Well, it's noon and I finally have a chance to sit down and eat breakfast.
Because, work. I'm killing it this week. I'll have racial domination and bureaucratic arrogance solved by five. (Though only one of those actually relates to my job). However, my alertness today is only because....
That move, man.
I mean, I never lose things, and I'm usually pretty grounded on my game, buuuuuut, WHAT IN THE FREAK JUST HAPPENED??
I've never gotten so lost in a coo-coo canoe before!
I was getting lost on all my runs, and on the drive to every store, and trying to get to work and ending up on the freeway heading the opposite direction, and leaving my car keys in Julie's car twice, and leaving my toothbrush at one house but sleeping at another, and jumping over the breadmaker that was in the center of my bedroom for weeks, and eating oatmeal for two meals a day because that was the only food I had, and yet still eating out far too much, and going to the wrong ward and making new friends for NOTHING, and planning a lunch date with Leslie and going to the completely wrong restaurant in a different town, and suffering from straight up apathy and severe job dissatisfaction related to all my projects at work, being completely useless when people would talk to me, wondering how I ever managed to even get a job in my lifetime, and having to reconfigure all my work parking and studio transit, and not understanding the new underground parking garage and coming out of doors that land me in someone's backyard, and still driving constantly between towns trying to manage 4,000 job responsibilities that I feel royally retarded at doing anyways, and saying really weird things that I thought were normal sentences until Kersti thought I was legitimately trying to rap, and starting a volunteer program where I was dumped as a financial coach on the first day, and trying to help another women's nonprofit group set up their legal and financial standing as a 501(c) but really I have no clue what I'm doing, and being so tired all the freaking time from running twice a day because of an upcoming race, and calling every hotel and car rental in the area to get my team situated until I somehow ended up on the phone with some guy in India, and deciding to hire my brother as my race manager so he can basically take over my life by signing me up for races and then telling where I need to be and when and how far I'm going, and not replying to hardly any texts or phone calls until weeks later, and having a complete breakdown at church because the story of Job hits me way too close for comfort, and planning a pancake party for our Provo friend group and finding the next day at work that chunky pancake dough is still streaked through my hair, and top all of THAT off with getting my face colored blue by a little girl on a marker frenzy, and then forgetting and wandering all around town, and finally coming home to my new roommate asking me after we'd been talking for a good ten minutes, "Why do you have a blue mustache?" I DON'T KNOW. I'VE LOST MY MIND.
But I'm finally home. Home in the membrane. I think it's because I finally organized my bedroom.
So, anyway, hello again. I'm back. I somehow still have a job, my house is not burned down, and I haven't been reported for any nudity. Can I still be your friend?
Upward and onward,