I was laying on the hotel bed tonight, after a full day at Disneyland with Ryan, both resting our tired legs. And I was listening to a vox from Becky, while scrolling down my tumblr feed. In the middle of her message, she said how grateful she was to be able to associate with me, to call me a friend. Something about her sincerity really touched me. When people really value me, it hits in a deep spot.
Like the seasons of Earth, I have my own tide that draws in, and then distances from, draws in, and then distances from. And my tide has to do with feeling unseen, misunderstood, and not really valued. Last week, this tide drew in far. I spent a few somber days asking God to help me discover Light to let this tide distance from me again. To help me draw back in to my deep value. My Heavenly Father has always been the one to provide that feeling most strongly. Though feeling that deep value from a good and trusted friend is nearly to that same level.
I find it so comforting that the same thing that most disconnects us from the world is the same thing that most connects us with God. We all need some reason to Seek.
And after telling Ryan all of this, he pulls my hand off the bed and kisses it. "I value you," he says.
Upward and onward,
By way of lighter news, the day I post a dance-off video on my Instagram with lyrics about stripping, is the day my bishop decides to follow me. For the love of all that is timely. That should be a good interview icebreaker.