"Take it all back. Life is boring, except for flowers, sunshine, your perfect legs. A glass of cold water when you are really thirsty. The way bodies fit together. Fresh and young and sweet. Coffee in the morning. These are just moments. I struggle with the in-betweens. I just want to never stop loving like there is nothing else to do, because what else is there to do?"
~ Pablo Neruda
Every week, I take 2 hours on Saturday morning to work out and go for a run with no time constraints, no interruptions, no stress. It's Sacred Time just for me.
After working out this morning, I ran up into the foothills, and while still plugged into my headphones, I danced up and down the streets. I was in such a shameless and free mood, and the sun was shining, and the pink spring trees were blooming. I felt so good.
I walked by all the gorgeous million dollar homes in the foothills. I'd like to rummage through their things. Because I feel like wealth polarizes you, attained either through an empty pursuit of money, or by very conscious refinement and wise focus. I'm curious about those sorts of people.
Then, I thought about walks I used to take in my childhood, and how I'd collect everything I found in the streets, filling up my hands with as much as I could hold, and then bringing it home to put in an ice cream bucket in my garage. All my little treasures. Of which my favorite were these tiny, thin metal sticks that I believed were old magic wands. Still not sure what they are, but they're in the streets everywhere. Leave it to me to be the connoisseur of gutter crap.
Then I thought about how I used to think I could turn myself into a mermaid. I believed this with my whole heart, and I would perform little routines in the bathtub that I believed so strongly would transform my legs into a beautiful tail. Sing up into the faucet, and then turn on my bum three times. Nope, still have legs. Try another one. Lay on my stomach and splash, and then stretch up my arms and hum. Nope, still have legs. Once I got tired of a succession of these mermaid rituals, I'd climb out of the tub, with still the same amount of vigor, and be on my way to my next busy body thing, until I came back and tried to transform again.
In the middle of my childhood daydreams, I got an email from my cousin Lisa. She always makes me feel so alive and seen.
What's funny is I felt so discontent and unable to rest last night, until I wrote you. You are the most real person I know Chantel. You never tell me it's wrong to think or feel a certain way. When life is good, you encourage me with excitement. When life is hard, you love and accept me. When I come to you with difficult pieces of me.. You don't get scared and freeze up and then spout off "Sunday school answers".. You help me know that I'm understood.
Then I thought about how emotional intelligence is one of my greatest strengths. And I'm very proud of that. My thoughts continued drifting until I arrived back home.
A most happy morning. So happy for my Sacred Time each week.
Upward and onward,
The little busybody. With evidence of said business on her legs.