I had to present to the CEO today in front of the entire senior executive team. I'm really glad I didn't realize this last night, as I was able to greatly enjoy my dinner with Ryan last night at Banana Leaf and then cooly get ready for work this morning.
But the second I walked into the office, meeting preparations were happening at large from every team, and I was informed that I'd be the one going up for battle. So for five hours I drank from a fire hose of information as everyone shared their knowledge with me of this new financial analysis process I'll be owning. The home-building industry fascinates me, but it's hard to feel qualified to present much of anything after only being involved with it for under two months. I think that I would struggle to thoroughly explain it to even a fleet of mice.
Well, this morning, everyone was gathered around the open work area discussing, and I stayed mostly silent and tried to swallow their thoughts as much as I could - and stop daydreaming and focus - mostly feeling overwhelmed and underconfident. And then I thought about steadiness. Because Ryan has been such a good example of this quality for me. I used to try and understand everything all at once, and likewise, shake and rattle the whole world in one swoop. But he is so good at letting things be, just as they may, and letting things come, just as they do, and being so steady and evenkill in his mood.
So instead, this morning, I let everyone else split hairs, and I just sat in the corner and snacked on some nuts. I said a prayer in my mind that I would have understanding and articulation, and that was that. I knew I'd be okay.
Then the meeting came and went, and the CEO was as intimidating as I was warned, and I only wanted to pee my pants one time, but I clearly presented the new report with the exact amount of information that was necessary. Everyone told me I did a really great job. I still don't know a lot, but I knew Heavenly Father helped me with exactly what I asked. Just as Ryan works with a steady hand, I believe Heavenly Father enabled me to do the same.
Today, it is what it is.
The picture on my desk:
"I have the strength,
I need for today."
And another good thing to remember - a baby muskox.
first image source
first image source