Sharla and I spent last Saturday evening at her in-law's cabin, deep in the mountains of Midway. We had been looking forward to it all week! We made coconut crusted tiliapia and ate coconut ice cream and sat on the porch swing and swung back and forth, long into the night, talking about everything and beyond. Of all the things we talked about, my favorite was the concept of "you teach people how to treat you."
Initially we talked about the occasional necessity of setting up boundaries, in an effort to encourage people's respect towards you. But then Sharla taught me how after awhile, your self-grounding in your own worth and values will be so strong that it will emanate a very particular energy. And people will react to that energy without even conscious awareness, being naturally inclined to match their treatment of you to the respect that your energy extends a claim for. Sharla compared it to being around a group of people who swear, and you establishing a boundary line saying - "Please do not use that language around me." But for the prophet, people just don't swear around him. Not because he's said anything to them, or because he's switched who he hangs around to exclude all the colorful verbage, but because he is a man of such refinement. His energy, his light, his qi, is SO strong that people's own caliber will match, subconsciously pulling out their best selves and putting away bad habits.
I thought of my own journey coming to this Self Radiance, of this very grounded and refined place that draws people's best selves out when they are around me. For awhile, I sought to wrangle my self-worth down and clamp it in place. Healing from debilitating pains. Cutting puppeted strings that tagged me to definitions from people or society that were fleeting and limited. Attaching my self-perception to Heavenly Father and places of Eternal understanding (like in the book You are Special - LOVE it!) As I've settled into a sense of Self-Belonging, I've then jostled around the in-between of setting boundaries, but other times letting my confidence emanate and naturally foster greater respect. Usually after I do some serious power posing in the bathroom.
However, recently, I have found myself resting more in the latter, my assertiveness speaking up when it needs to, but overall being more deeply and intricately aware of my deep Divine Worth. Meditating has really helped opened up this open space inside of me where I am aware of my endless Light of Worth, and I can sustainably exist within that. And I let that energy exude, believing people want to act upon a better part of themselves around me.
A queen is a proverbial figure of this Regal Value, capitalized because we are of Godly descent, who draws out the utmost respect from people. I am profoundly more aware of the Queen within myself. And thus, my Self Radiating Aura is stronger.
The next day at Church, after returning from my getaway trip with Sharla, an elderly couple spoke who are long-time temple patrons in our area. The elderly woman had glistening white hair and spoke with such poise and grace - so much beauty. Ryan, my roommates, and I were sitting in the second row, dead center, so I was right beneath her, and was I LOVING her presence. She is a Queen, I kept repeating to myself, this is the Self-Radiating Aura of a Queen that I am feeling.
For the next week at work, I was led by these thoughts of being a Queen. In every instance, I asked myself, how would a Queen handle this situation? I was powerful and meek, I was beautiful and natural, I was energetic and at rest. I was grounded and I was very in tune with God in the clouds. I was the best of all ends of myself.
So I formed a credo for myself and the behaviors that come from being a Queen. (Remember last year when I made a credo? Here. Creating evolving standard guides are important to me. More and more, I realize I am a person chained to high value systems.)
So, what do I belief a Queen to be? Who am I, and what is my standard?
A Queen sees herself as an agent for God and creates a space for that choice and behavior daily.
(this idea came from an article I read about Rosa Parks and her civil rights actions).
A Queen asks herself, "What do I need in this moment to be my best self?" A Queen takes care of herself so that she can constantly be offering her best energy to everything around her.
(this idea came from the book Sharla and I read).
A Queen's actions are dictated by her commitments, not by her emotions.
(this idea came from my favorite podcaster -Hal Elrod).
Upward and onward,
email from Nora a week after this post: :)