I can't sleep because I'm awake. Haha! duh.
I'm awake because I'm thinking about Ryan.
The joy I feel is overflowing to a degree of happiness I've never experienced. He is the best decision I have made, and he is the best decision I will make over and over again for the rest of my life.
The other night, a friend had just left my home after a really heartfelt, purging conversation (Heidi, you BEAUTY!!). And Ryan and I were getting ready to finish the edited version of Braveheart (LOVE), and as I'm scrolling through Instagram while Ryan sets up the video, I come across a post Ryan had worked on while I was with my friend that was all about his respect for me. Oh man, reading Ryan's perspective and joy over me. One of the things that I hold most dear to me over the course of mine and Ryan's relationship are all the specific moments he has told me his deep view of me. I can remember exactly where we were, exactly how I felt full of light. To feel seen by someone, someone like him, is incredible.
And this was one of the most powerful of those moments.
He explained the things he admires about me, making me seem so brilliant and classy. As I read while shoving full-fisted amounts of popcorn in my mouth, ignoring the grease all over my hands and face. And then I looked up at him, grimy and speckled with popcorn-crumbs, and he's smiling mischievously at me, knowing words have a HUGE hold on my heart, and I tell him, "I am going to go upstairs and wash all this mess off me, and when I come back down, well, you better just hide ......"
So I clean myself up and come back downstairs. Sure enough, he's hiding. behind the couch. underneath a blanket.
So, I rip the blanket off and snuggle his brains out. It's how we do.
Here's to two people with the exact same love languages. So much love that it keeps me awake at night.
Upward and onward,