Getting settled. In both home and heart.
23 December 2015
Well, Ryan and I have moved into our home. What a whirlwind.
In the month between going under contract and closing on the home, I daydreamed endlessly about the life that would be lived within those walls. It was the most beautiful and peaceful haven in my mind. The sun shines through the windows every morning. I cook and bottle healthy and satisfying meals. I begin an herb collection. We start a garden and finish the kitchenette in the basement to nourish our budding plants and wash our green thumbs in the sink after working in the yard all day. The other white corner nook in the basement becomes a creative learning and artistic space for our children. And the main studio would be used for being physically active and learning from books and each other. And of course, children would come to us quickly and healthily and fill the home with their personalities. None of my demons existed in this home. It was without stress, worry, and pain. It was full of love, and knowledge, and activity, and spirit. It was a sanctuary in every way.
And then the home closed, and I was grossly sick to my stomach for a couple days. I pressed on with packing, cleaning, and moving, but it was just motions of necessity. My sleep was rocky, and my work was sacrificed heavily.
We have moved in now, and the home itself is slowly becoming less frightening to me. It is not yet comforting or cozy. But I am working very diligently to make it so. Ryan always calls me a work horse because I have been continuously pouring myself into this home. I have been scrubbing and deep cleaning every last nook, and I have been gently greeting it, letting myself become known to it and it to me. I assure the home that we will treat it well. It helps both of us that we are coming to know each other, and I can feel it's grateful energy from my keen attention to it.
I have also been listening to Big Magic while I clean. It is an astounding book and certainly one of my favorites now. I listened to it three times as I deep cleaned every crack of this home.
Ryan and I are so thrilled to build this home into the sanctuary we envision. And of course that will come more from my own mind versus the house itself, but I do believe that we will find ourselves very fulfilled here. I give myself that time. Time to get settled; time to tackle some low-hanging fix-up projects; and time to settle myself from all the uproar of new ownership.
Unseen blessings that have already come from this home:
-Having Russell and his wife so close (Ryan's best friend). I can't wait to go to dinner with them. They are such real, grounded people.
-Having Brittany so close (one of my best friend's from college). She has already come by to visit several times, and I am beyond grateful to have such a dear friend so close.
-Our ward. This is by far the most welcoming ward Ryan and I have ever encountered. EVERYONE greeted us on Sunday, and they were stoked out of their minds to have new members.
-My friend Emily happens to be in this ward, and she and her husband were so generous and helpful during the move, providing meals and assistance.
-We live in the city of Herriman, but on the property of Riverton. Because this is one of the oldest neighborhoods in this town, so it was still inclded in Riverton when it was built, while the city of Herriman later grew around it. And this is SO fanstastic because we pay Riverton taxes, which are much lower, given the box stores in Riverton that subsidize with sales tax and also the conservative mayor with spending is low. Whereas Herriman generates no sales tax and is all about spending and building, so their property taxes are twice as much! So we get incredible amenities from the town, but we don't have to pay for them. Also, Riverton's water source is from irrigation water, so that helps too.
-The entrance to our neighborhood is completely open to the vast mountain range of the Salt Lake Valley. Driving anywhere, the mountains are so stark and pristine. It's open and beautiful!
I accept all energy so I can keep building this home.
I give myself patience to let everything come together in time.
I give myself a lot of love and security for the journey of buying this home.
I give myself permission to open up and receive the safety and kindness that exists in the world.
I am honored to have the life I do - the home above me, the husband by me, and the job that fulfills my mind.
I am continually brave and strong.
Upward and onward,