Pregnancy and Me
21 May 2016
Second trimester has arrived, and I'll tell you what - this is where the party is at!
My first trimester was a lot of what you hear about pregnancy - nausea, extreme fatigue, brain melt. Yep, yep, yep. And guess what? My first trimester aligned just perfectly with tax season. So phenomenal and tortuous, right? The odds were not in my favor on that one. So we'll skip every single one of those memories. Including the day I spit up over-easy eggs all down myself on the drive to work. I arrived in my dress pants with a yellow-stained crotch. Then I spent the morning oscillating between the bathroom floor, with my head between my knees, and the most irritating client of the entire season. But, I did peel myself out of bed every morning (literally, it was a peeling sensation because I was SOO tired, and I would sleep at least 10 hours a night), and I worked out. I told myself that the most important thing I could do for myself was get my body moving, and I kept up my motivation by telling myself that was the ONE thing I needed to do all day - that's it, just get out of bed and work-out. So amongst unexplainable fatigue, I would. And then I'd say, "Haha, gotcha!" And I'd push myself out the door for a 10 hour work day. But I stayed determined to work-out every day. Physically - it increased the nausea, but emotionally - I know it carried me through all those weeks. Those were the days! All for you, little baby.
And now, I have walked through the glowing door of second trimester!
I am restored to my previous energized and happy body. And I can feel an energetic shift within myself. Like someone turned up my intuition knob and poured an extra dose of Spirit in me. I think about holy motherhood and babies and home-making all the time. Never have I felt so in tune with my divine role before. It is incredible.
I'll dive in to this Mother Spirit, because I'm having so many revelations regarding birthing and motherhood, and it's important that I record these feelings.
In summary, I'm seeking inspiration daily on framing myself with belief sets that will make motherhood, and the home in which I practice the art, to be the best it can be. I feel really strongly towards the power mother's have to choose and sustain the energy of their home. I've also been carving out time to keep improving our home so it will be all ready when baby comes. Nesting with pleasure. And last but not least, I have been researching information on what are the best birth options for me.
Rachel told me the other day that she thinks it's such a gift I have that I'm so in tune with energy. And that she thinks it's so cool that I'm just pouring myself into this and studying so much. I'm trying to create new belief sets that really honor baby and my calling as a mom. I've been keeping a notebook of revelations to increase my frame of mind. I'll share a couple here. Like, children can often be so irrational from the viewpoint of an adult because they are functioning more emotionally versus rationally. But if I set up a belief set that my children are intelligent beings at every age, even if they are in a phase I don't understand, then I will show respect towards them always. And hopefully they will feel that belief set, and they will honor my intelligence and respect me in times of misunderstanding as well.
I am also working on a belief set that anchors the extreme value of motherhood. Satan is already working on me about this. Because the nobility I feel towards motherhood isn't matched when I walk out my front door and get busy in life. Thoughts run through my head that I won't be contributing as much. Where will my billable rate be? My deliverable from a day's work? To add to it, motherhood is small acts that often go unnoticed and without feelings of satisfaction. So bad thoughts try to mask the value and make my contributions seem small. What powerful lies! I have to study the scriptures every morning to build up a solid belief set about the truth of motherhood! The value of mothers' is immense. Sure, it is a different contribution, but even amidst all the home tasks and wiping noses, we are the light bearers of the home! We manage and shift the energy. We have incredible ability to draw in power from on High and elevate all within a home. We make spiritual conduits wider, and we subconsciously emit strength, protection, and intelligence. We turn negative momentum around. We exalt through energy and added light! And that isn't seen by the world, and it isn't assigned a rate of contribution. It is a value defined and known by God. And I have felt so strongly that He really desires this of me, and He really values it. I have a strong spirit, and I contribute so much when I add that to my family and home.
Also, I've been reading a lot about the birthing process and making decisions regarding that. Every birth is so unique and every mother is guided by her own intuition. Never have I felt so guided by mine. And as I've studied and prayed and pondered, I've been able to make a lot of choices about how I want my birth to go. I feel so strongly about it. Between homebirths and hospitals, practitioners and midwives, narcotics and relaxing methods. For me, I will be doing a water birth in a birth center with a midwife.
Every mother's birthing decision is true to her core and the Spirit sensing her future needs, and I have loved talking with my friends and learning what was the perfect experience for them. Doing a natural birth is one of the strongest affirmations I've had. I completely feel the spiritual nature and reverence in such. And I really believe it will be such an elevating experience and so extremely bonding for Ryan and I. From one of the books I have been studying, the author talks about women who experience natural birth and feel such intense oxytocin and feelings of triumph and empowerment, and those feelings stay with them into the beginning phase of motherhood when that sense of competence, confidence, and resilience is so needed. I completely believe that the energy of your birth can propel you into newborn mothering!
And I see the preparation for a natural childbirth exactly like my preparations for a marathon. I am training myself both physically and mentally, so I will be fully prepared when the time comes. I work out every morning, placing emphasis on squats and hip stabilization. And to prepare mentally, I am studying HypnoBirthing and will be delivering my baby through that method. I set aside time to study each day and practice hypnobirthing. I firmly believe in building this mental fortitude, so I will have a strong ability to self-soothe and relax into the process of delivery, ceasing the reaction to clench up and drive the experience into fear and pain. Initially in this pregnancy, when I thought about delivery, I would get nervous. But now, I feel so incredibly stoked. This is so similar to my marathon trainings, that same sense of eager "prep, prep, prep" and then the excited "GAME TIME!" And I love that! I love knowing that feeling of being so trained and prepared, and then the resulting oxytocin and feeling of triumph is beyond belief! And all I've studied, the midwives describe the experience of birth much the same. Though they never mention the similitude to a marathon, I can feel what they are talking about because I have experienced all that before.
And thus goes the second trimester. Full of revelation, empowered decisions, building strong belief sets, and growing a little baby bump.
A very blessed season for me!
Upward and onward,