Choosing the Energy of Your Mind
05 June 2016
I was so taken aback by what she was saying. I don't even want to write it down because I don't want to solidify those beliefs into my brain. I have been reading about birth and studying it for the past month, shaping it into a beautiful, sacred, and incomparable experience. And she spoke of it to me, completely unsolicited, through thunderous shrieking and swearing, throwing her disgust of birth all around the room, particularly about the way I've chosen to deliver. And I hated it. If I were ever to describe myself as aghast, it was in that moment. I just stood there. I waited for the thunder to stop, for her voice and opinions to finally subside, and then I slowly turned and sauntered off. My heart felt sensitive. The topics she chose to speak of so scornfully really mattered to me. They had become the basis of my entire world lately. Of what I study and ponder every day. The beginning solstice of mother and child. The divine entrance of life. The fluidity of spirit transferring spirit. I love finding such magnificence in something and pouring myself into it daily, and I want to protect that.
She came to apologize later, and I received it warmly. I never felt personally affronted; I just didn't want her thoughts to attach with me. Nora called me after her nap and spoke to me clearly and boldly about the situation, taking strong stance next to where I stood in regards to birth. I greatly appreciate her ability to console me and strengthen me in one big swoop.
I've worked hard to build belief sets and thoughts that play to the higher regions of the mind. I know Satan plays to the lower regions of the mind and tries to surreptitiously draw people there, causing us to think in little ways and feel stifling emotions. And I have a very impressionable mind, for better and for worse, and I can be lured into the muck of downward energy. Incredibly, I married a man with the mind of steel. Nothing thwarts him, sways him, or lulls him downward. I have felt so blessed in his example. But I've still had to do my own work in choosing to actively live by higher vibrations for my mind and soul.
So when I came to work and listened numbly to such thoughts on birth, I felt that sense of misalignment. The feeling I get when something doesn't hold the higher energy or higher vibration that I'd like to fill my mind with. And the general belief set of that whole office is "Life is struggle. Pain and suffering is in every situation." Which cause the most passive aggressive approaches to not empowering oneself over a situation, but just feeling completely justified nestling into bitter complaints. And that belief set is one that does not pair with me at all. Not because pain doesn't exist in the world. Not being I want to be ignorant to it. But because you pick the vibration by which you want to live. And I want to live by a really high energy. One that causes me to think beyond and above problems. To have such clarity in thought and draw on wise sources. To feel the good vibrations in people and situations, even when mishaps or weaknesses occur. And with motherhood upon me, I feel even more drawn to establishing a high vibration. So baby girl can develop inside of it, and then be born into a household and family that practices it. Strong thoughts, strong life.
I am not only making birthing decisions, according to the best spirit and intellect I can draw from myself, in moments when I am thinking confidently and with clarity from God. I am also working so hard to build up a powerful spiritual force and momentum for my calling in motherhood. I am determined to hone this skill as I lead and teach a little girl. I want her to know that high, empowering spiritual feeling from the start.
Little baby girl, God has offered us a way to live by a higher conduct, so we will. And as we do, our thoughts and views and reactions will be higher, like His. As such, life will be richer and more beautiful for you, and you will have more outreach, be more compassionate, more fair, and more forgiving. It's how we choose to be our best selves.
You will be shamelessly raised on good vibes, and your entrance into this world will be founded in them too.
Upward and onward,
This looks so much like sleeping Ryan to me, and I love it so so much!