All the distracting bees

13 July 2016

Today I took a restorative day.  If my engine gets too overloaded, smoke starts emitting and blocking my mental capacities.  And I can tell when I start feeling like a run-away train.  My thoughts are bigger than they need to be and are out my control.   What that anxiety feels like, according to C.S. Lewis:

… little thoughts like bees followed and prickled him on and left no ease.
—  C.S. Lewis // Dymer, Canto 5.2

 I just let it exist for a couple days, thinking that offering no resistance, and keeping my focus on more positive things, would clear out the smoke.  However, today I knew I just needed a complete break from life to aim for full mental restoration.  I forced myself to stop working a bit after lunch and took myself on an adventure.

As I was blaring some songs on the radio, the DJ came on the speakers and announced the latest new thing that was proven to offer the most healthy romantic relationships.  Right after this commercial.

Of course.  Here we are - we have it!  The secret to ultimate success in relationships!!

I laughed and changed the station.

Then, even in the severe heat of the day, feeling the severe fatigue of my already overheated pregnant body, I entered a personal little soap box thought world, as I thought about just why I feel like most media content is so valueless and something I can entirely sidestep.  I have not even a curious desire towards what these people have to share.  I feel this way about so much content.  "Twelve ways you can...."  "The five best..."  I really don't need any of that content because it will be useless to me by the time I'm through with one sentence.  So I change the station, walk passed the magazines, close my browser window.

I see it as just a snag.  A blip of content to snare attention to ultimately produce a profit for the source.  Which is why I find the "advice" so hypocritical and small.     

I whole-heartedly believe two things that leaves all this fluffy content completely overturned and bankrupt for me.

First, the best inspirers and teachers don't lecture, talk at, or criticize.  They simply try to reduce the interference for their students.  And in clearing interference, the most profound insights can surface from within a person.  They are free to their own knowledge, finding new stones to turn and new pathways to solutions, forming deep abiding emotions to what they discover and seek to implement.  When the knowledge is able to come from inside of us, we are more emotionally and mentally committed to it.  The change in our lives is far bigger and more lasting.

So it's ironic that all this "knowledge" out there just increases the interference for us. 

And second, every person is a holder of the light of Christ.  Which is the source of all the best and most profound knowledge we individually need.  That's what gives us the previously mentioned power and knowledge when we are free from distractions.  We can hone in on revelation that spur us on to high places and big pivots.  Not just a snag of small-sighted content, a rubberneck effect on some catchy thoughts that don't change us.  The light of Christ stirs up our own eternal content from within.  And tapping into that is the most powerful skill one can learn.  The skill that would teach you the best advice for your relationship, far above what a radio DJ says.

I really believe in filtering out what I don't need and choosing to be led internally by my own God-given light and some sources of content that speak directly with it. 

My own thoughts can feel like distracting bees, as can the endless content of the world.

I'm grateful for this day to restore myself and shed all these bees.

Upward and onward,

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