Manti Temple and Pregnancy Feels

16 July 2016

Ryan and I got up early this morning and drove to the Manti temple for my dear friend Lizzie's wedding.  We celebrated with her and her family last night at Tucano's.  It was a beautiful temple; I was so amazed by it.  And I was sooooooo happy to see Lizzie's sealing.  I have wanted this for her for so long now, and I could feel her joy.

Meanwhile, in the growing belly land...

It is definitely an adventure to encounter all the shifts in pregnancy.  Some much easier to embrace than others. The changes include physically, obviously:  back aches.  awkward sleeping.  Mentally:  not having sharp recall.  And, emotionally:  heightened sensitivities.  Which has mostly been very welcomed.  I feel connected to things really easily and emotionally moved.  Like Lizzie's wedding this morning.  Like the new Pink song.  Like when I pray at night and thank Heavenly Father for Ryan, and I can't stop, and I feel overwhelmed with love for him. 

But, alas, on that same note, it takes very, very little negative stimulus for me to feel flooded.  And this past week, it was exhausting to deal with.  I can tell when I am reaching my point of overwhelm, when my level of tolerance has been entirely deluged.  But lately, it happens so fast that I can't step back and get to a non-drowning realm before I have already reached the point of full flooding.  And so, I flood.  I feel completely inept at coping with life recently.  I cannot subsist like the average, unpregnant human.  And it's defeating and discouraging.  Dealing with it so frequently is tiresome.  Probably moreso than the recent ease to which I feel physical fatigue.

Yay, pregnancy.  Yay.

This post was brought to me by a good idea.  One to record.  I'm not up and around like I used to be - not like - "now I just sit on a couch because I'm pregnant" - but rather, I'm not largely active in my career like I was, or diving into adventures and fitness challenges, going here, being there, meeting and being around many people.  My life has slowed pace a lot, a lot more quiet, less bases.  Well that high movement and interaction is largely what gave me such great inspiration to write so freely and often.  So now, when I bunker around the house most of the day, and then I open my laptop to write, I have the desire, but stuck thoughts and no flow.  So this evening, I whisked myself away in cleaning instead, to find zeal in another form.  And while I worked, I felt the flow coming.  So I promised myself that as soon as I felt satisfied with my work in cleaning, I would rush to my computer and write down these raw thoughts!  I'm feeling pretty excited that cleaning can be leveraged as my inspiration source.  I see that working out well for me on double accounts.  

Upward and onward,


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1 comment :

  1. Oh! Congratulations to Lizzie!!!!
    Pregnancy can be draining. I think it's preparation for parenthood. That's why I really appreciated your quote from Brene Brown a few posts ago. Reminded me of a conversation with another friend. She heard someone put a good spin on all the feedings and diaper changings. Try to not think of it as mundane, but instead as we're working on building eternal families.