Ryan & the baby
17 July 2016
Awhile ago, I discovered this little gem in one of Ryan's mom's emails to her daughter on a mission:
> Latest news in the family: Ryan and Chantel are having a baby girl.
> She is due November 2nd according to the ultra-sound. Ryan called to
> let me know the other day and he was so excited. They were able to see
> a perfectly formed baby moving all around, in fact it took some time
> to get a good reading on the sex of the baby because she was moving so
> much. Ryan is feeling a great deal of happiness. It is like he never
> realized how grand this experience could be.
Ryan's joy over this baby gives me all the feels. When we first discovered we were pregnant. When Ryan called his parents to tell them. The day we found out baby was a girl. I remember all these moments. More specifically, I remember Ryan in all these moments. He isn't a man of big outward emotion, but instead if you know him well enough and watch close, you see a big, big heart on the inside and a lot of really sweet teary eyes. When we first discovered we were pregnant - in our bedroom. He was speechless. His happiness was so much that his expression of it was uncertain so he sat quietly on the bed with a big grin. How do you release a joy that's so big but so reverent? When Ryan called to tell his parents - in our living room, I sat on the couch and he stood in front of me. He spoke the words like it was the most important sentence of his life. His eyes watered up, and he kept looking away to wipe them. When we found out baby was a girl - Ryan was beaming like the kid who cracked the pinata at a birthday party.
A few nights ago, Ryan and I were laying in bed. I had recently begun feeling Baby Girl start kicking. She was kicking hard that night, so I had Ryan put his hand on my stomach. As soon as she kicked and my stomach lurched, he looked up at me with these big happy eyes full of awe. He was amazed, and he loved feeling her there! It was such a tender moment.
I love how he always tells me how amazed he is that I'm carrying our baby, as he gently touches my stomach. And he pulls me close and tells me how attractive I am to him as a pregnant woman. And he always wants to rub my back and help me up and make sure I'm comfortable.
I already love him so so so much, so I don't know how I'm going to handle watching him as a dad to our little girl.
And after another ultrasound on Friday, we know that Baby Girl has her daddy's lips! "Man, this baby has big lips," says the technician. Haha! I love that so much!!
Upward and onward,