The Love of My Life
18 August 2016
I love Ryan so much.
Just that sentence is too simple for how much I feel for him.
This afternoon, he left for the opening day of hunting season. He will be home tomorrow night, probably after I've fallen into sleep. Like last spring when he came home from a trip at 4 am, and I was beyond excited to see him. Though he was exhausted from a long drive, I heard him come him and bounded out of bed like a million Christmas mornings jolted into one moment.
And now, he's only been gone five hours, but I feel his absence so much. If I ever lost him, I don't think I'd recover from that pain. He will be home tomorrow.
Oh man, I really care about this man.
I love Ryan with such an intensity that I can't figure out how to properly release how much I feel for him. When contained, it feels like a gathering explosion within me. I tell myself that I can probably make the most of these acute love swells by just spreading them into a daily consistency in my love expressions for Ryan. I feel guilty for moments when I'm stacked with tiredness and stress, and I have a burst of impatience. It's always small, because I love and respect Ryan too much to ever mistreat him, so I closely monitor myself for when I need a moment of solitude for myself. He deserves the best treatment.
I'm just so grateful for him. He truly is my best friend. Of course that will be true simply because I spend more time with him than anyone else in the world. But it's not just true because of that default. It's true because of the qualities he manifests towards me. He is sooooo loving and supportive towards me. He is unconditional in love, without guile, full of humility and trust and honesty and intelligence. He is wonderful in so many ways.
I love you, Ryan.
Upward and onward,