Ready and EXCITED!

03 October 2016

Yesterday I began packing my delivery bag.  I have been so eager and excited to go into labor and bring Charlotte out.  I packed a little outfit for Charlotte and a little snuggly blanket.  I was so happy!

Preparing for this delivery has been such a highlight for me.  Last week, I was driving through a part of Provo where I used to train for my marathons, and then where I later ran them.  I also thought about this part of town where I studied endlessly for my CPA license, and then went and took the test.  I thought of how these experiences have been sooo much like preparing for labor, and I have enjoyed it so much.  I quite like pushing myself and aiming for something that seems so impossible.  I remember with my marathons and with CPA testing, in the beginning there is just pure feelings of ammunition.  I am motivated and focused and giving everything I have to the goal.  And then, as the time gets closer and the goal is suddenly near and looming in sight, there is always a period of a couple weeks where I feel huge doubt and nervousness.  And this is usually paired with having to pull back in my training or my studies because I am just fatigued.  What was I thinking?  I can't accomplish something this big.  This is beyond my abilities.  

The same happened with preparing for this labor.  Several weeks ago, those nerves hit, and I felt shaky.  This is going to be so intense.  I don't think I can do this.  

So I pulled back in my preparations, re-centered, and now I feel ready as ever!  I love this feeling - approaching such a huge endeavor and knowing how much effort I've put into this.  I don't believe in trying to control or manipulate the experience, but simply to believe it will a peaceful and comfortable experience for me.  And I am open to however this time needs to go; however my body works to make it happen.

Upward and onward,

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1 comment :

  1. So true!! You can do hard things!! I had to keep reminding myself that millions of women have had babies all throughout time, and it's going to be OK.