Gold Medal Moments & Belonging
11 February 2017
Charlotte is down for a little snooze, Ryan ran to a boat show, and my brother, who has been staying with us, has gone out for a bit. So it's time for a Gold Medal moments list.
- a happy wife is ... vacuum lines in the carpet.
- My brother, Trevor, has been staying with us the past couple of nights, and he introduced Ryan and I to a show called Hunted. Oh man! We LOVE it! Pairs of fugitives start running and the best detectives try to find them within 28 days. It's so interesting to see how people, despite their best efforts, cannot not think like themselves. And when our lives are opened up to professional hunters, we are actually rather predictable. (The word predictable always makes me think of riding on a bus in India with one of my best friends, Kelli, reading excerpts of a book called Irrational Predictability to each other. So good! Kind of similar concepts to the show).
- Boxing. I. am. so. sold. I have gone 5 times in one week. I can't get enough of it! Mentally, I need more, more, moooooore. But physically, I am hardly moving. I am sore up and down and all around. That is such a satisfying feeling. Until I have to stand up and do something. Ha! I can't wait to go back again next week! I love the gym, the people, the music, and ultimately, the sense of belonging. More on this later... maybe....
- I took Charlotte into my former office this week, while I met with a client about his pending audit. My former co-workers were more than thrilled to watch Charlotte. Little Buddy has some charm. Afterwards, Char and I met Ryan for lunch, and I could hardly focus on anything because I was feeling such nostalgia over work and all the confidence and focus that surrounded me.
- Our book club had its first meeting this week. I entered with excitement and left with ambivalence. We'll see about this. Though this book club started as an idea between Brittney and I to meet more people, once we had a group formed, I turned out to be the only one not in their ward. Which on the bright side means I just have that many new potential friends! But on the downside, I will have to answer the question "And, who are you?" probably eight more times. Luckily, Brittney was by my side, and we could make sidenote remarks to each other, and after everyone left, we planned a movie night for just us. I am grateful for her.
Okay back to this whole belonging thing.. because I'm really feeling it today. Or, rather, not feeling it today. I've had a lot of transitions in my life the last couple of years. I am part of a new family, part of a new ward, part of a new city, and the infusion of me into these places hasn't come naturally. And I think back often to the first biggest transition of my life --- college. Boy was that a transition. I didn't really feel like that was a place I belonged until my late sophomore year. But as years went by, and especially in grad school, I never felt a more solid feeling of belonging and connectedness in my entire life. Lately, every day, I think back on those times with such fondness. SO many memories. I'm most likely going to make a shrine of college degrees and pictures, and hang it like a baby mobile above my side of the bed. In college, I really grew into my own, and I met people who have become my closest network, and I worked so dang hard and laughed and and and. Oh, I loved that time so much!
So of course my infusion into these new places and times of my life will take time, and I could do without beating myself up so much while I overcome all these awkward hurdles. But I once again feel like the wrong type of animal trying to run, swim, and jump with a pack that is already uniform. Once Charlotte entered our hearts and home, this simmering journey of "belonging" went from the backburner, to a forefront boil. I needed to get out of the house, and I needed to find a sense of belonging. And funnily enough, my outreach has mostly led me back to my safe anchors of college roommates who have since become my best friends. And boxing, ha. Those two things alone are sewing up my melancholic transitory seams.
Thank you my college roommates :)
Upward and onward,