This morning, I caught one glimpse of Charlotte rubbing her eyes, and I swooped her up in some of her small fuzzy blankets and went to her nursery to hold her tightly in my arms while we swayed in the rocking chair. I knew the moment was ripe for her to just relax into me. Ryan and I haven't had many, if any, moments to really "rock" Charlotte to sleep. She just decides it's time for rest, cues us by rubbing her eyes, and then she likes us to just take her to the crib and lay her down. She's out cold in seconds. If we keep holding her when she's tired, she'll stay awake and look around endlessly, basking in her privilege of being held high on a throne that she can observe everything.
So this morning when I noted her fatigue, I took quick advantage of the time for us to be close. As we rocked in the glider chair, she stared intently at me. I began telling her how special I think she is, and before long, I was lost in thought on the purpose of one human's journey here on this earth.
It all began when I was telling Charlotte that I believe she was a really special spirit before she came here. Then I told Charlotte that I believe her purpose here on this Earth is to learn who her spirit was before she came here. To come to an awareness of her divine essence and how much God loves her. Her journey on earth is not to prove herself to anyone else. What other's think of her is none of her business because then she'll have to speculate about their private lives, just as they are doing of hers. But her most important purpose here is to come to know herself, as a spiritual being, and know whose she is.
By knowing how glorious of a spirit she is, she'll feel the love of her Father and Mother in Heaven; she'll know her spirit will continue beyond this blip of time; she'll know she's sacred and eternal and loved supremely. From that knowledge, she'll know she's of worth far above all labels, judgments, and human opinions; she'll keep watch for herself and keep herself in holier places, surrounded by better people, making choices from a wiser perspective, holding boundaries and standards that take increasing courage.
And how can someone who knows that about themselves not live without an astounding amount of integrity and confidence? How can someone like that not, by default, leave a dent in society as it stands and spur an upward momentum?
Suddenly, it became very clear to me what my job is for her. My most important job is to clear any interference that may silence that truth for her. To reduce the noise of all the unnecessary voices of low content. To declutter all the pipeways of fallen and broken messages. I must keep our airways full of higher truths and feelings of the spirit.
I would do just about anything to have Charlotte know of her worth. And I think this hits me so close to home because of the times I've been really dislodged and met with such darkness in this life. Fed lies, abandoned, forgotten. I know what it feels like to hold a flickering candle to this truth of oneself, and there is no faster way to be drowned in this world. So, I know how important it is to have God's confirmation of who you really are.
As I told her that this is what I want her purpose to be, I felt a conviction that the same message holds true for me and for everyone.
Our journey is only about us finding our identity as a spiritual self and letting that connect us in unimaginable ways to God and our eternity. How much of the clamor - even the noise of people standing up for their well-thought out convictions - is really a loud reverberation of deep emptiness. Countless individual people speaking louder and louder. When the answer is silently tucked deep within.
This knowledge alone of our divine selves can repair a soul to a core. This knowledge alone stops the finger pointing, the offendedness, the easy reactions. This knowledge augments goodness, expands efforts, merges gaps, opens the veil, anchors our roots into Heaven, and awakens The Law of Consecration. The ultimate way of living as united, thriving beings. All together. As one. So by finding our self as a Spirit of pre-existing glory, healing flows outward with such force that not only our energies bind to each other, but temporal resources begin evening out the troughs in all of the world.
So yes, I will make all sacrifices I deem necessary to give Charlotte this gift. Even if it's as simple as turning off the radio when a song comes on that I love, but I can feel that the message isn't in harmony with who I believe we are.
And after I've successfully whisked Charlotte away into a swirl of these thoughts on her divine self, I observe her stare slowly fading into a daze, her lips moving all around as she settles deeper into comfort, then her eyelids softly closing into a deep, heavy doze.
Sweet dreams, little one.
I feel pretty humbled that I've been blessed with a baby who has a spirit far greater than I can even imagine.
And also pretty intimidated, because when she was in Heaven and meeting with God about who her parents were to be for this next leg of her journey, I'm sure he pulled up a real-time moment of me and I was like picking my nose or something.
Upward and onward,