A working life free-write

17 April 2014

Today I saw a cutesy sign that said "Love the crap out of people."  Was accentuating that word intentional?  In that case,



This morning my entire work had an earthquake drill.  So my cubicle buddy, Eric, and I sat under our desks and ate breakfast, while I told him all about my Half Marathon from Hell last Saturday.  Today is my last day with him as a cube companion, and I am very very sad about this.  He kindly listens to all my stories, like the kind of listener that would sit quietly while you flip through every single picture in your scrapbook album as slowly as possible and tell the relating story.  Because among the list of Things People Love Being Forced to Do, that's in the top 3.

Then I nailed a work meeting and solved most of the world's problems.  It's actually becoming quite unbelievable how much everyone worships me around this place.  Ya know a scapegoat?  When one person is blamed for everything even if they didn't do it.  Well, I'm the opposite - praised for everything good that happens even if I didn't do it.  It's almost getting ridiculous, as I motion my hand to keep it coming.

I told my buddy David about this, who is co-consipiring with me so I become the next CFO for Adobe.  He said life at Adobe is really going to change when I'm the top dog.  I said, "Yes, starting with waterslides going overtop the freeway.  But they won't be see-through because that would be gross."  His response:  "Totally agree.  Ain't nobody got time for all kinds of smooshed body views on the highway."  But then I didn't tell him about this one time when Leslie, and her husband, and I found a see-through waterslide, and... I'm not telling the Internet either.

Then I went out to lunch at The Marsh, or so I call it.  Because the City Creek food court is a swamp of every SLC downtown business professional during the lunch hour.  I like to sit in a corner and stereotype everyone to the furthest degree I can.  And also, this negates all reasons for me to ever have a Tinder account ever ever again.

Then I ran in to an old buddy from a college dance team seven years ago.  We talked about our high-end jobs for about three seconds, and then moved on to more important topics like who-dated-who all that time ago.  Ironically one of our other dance buddies took me for a ride in his Mustang just last night.  I think that dance team is trying to haunt me one-by-one.

Then I ran off to take my other co-worker, Lizzie, some lunch because she woke up with a very hurt back.  I broke into her house with a spare key, a 7 lb. bag of ice, and some In-N-Out.  If there is someone I would do anything for, it is Lizzie. 

Then I came back to the office to pack up because we are relocating to a new location tomorrow.  But instead I climbed into a stacked pile of wheeled moving boxes, and my co-worker pushed me down the hall.  I flew into my supervisor's office and slammed into his filing cabinet.  "Oh, hey Kevin."

I love the crap out of my life.

Upward and onward,


  1. How did your half marathon go?? Haha I was thinking about those waterslides just the other day!!!

  2. Hahahaha! I love how fun loving you are! You are so full of life no one can help but to adore you! I would have races with you in wheeling devices down the hall.. Lol!