The happenings with the new Mrs.

03 November 2015

Hello blog.

I am home today with a body that says, "aaaand no more.  break."  I am tired and achy and my bones feel cold.  But, the trees outside from where I write are just beginning their transformation, and I love squinting at them and listening to them rustle.  I've been feeling a bit guilty that my busyness has kept me from really observing the fall trees change colors and come undone.  Not that I have to sit here and watch the entire process.  I just think it's really powerful symbolism that we get to watch nature shed so fiercely.  And the whole world is moved by it!  At least the people on my internet.  But I really believe there is a vulnerable subconscious connection, something of safety and innocence.  Of our humanity so tiny against a massive, seasonal, beautiful shift.  We remember that we are not the pacemakers and rulers of the world; we are only the partakers.  And in the fall, we are very happy about that.

Oooooh life for me.  It's so good!  It's good for me to share the full diggings on my complete life.  And also, I couldn't write all this in a text to Leslie, so here it is.

I've been meditating daily.  Twice a day, actually.  I feel true in the practice now; like I can really claim myself to be a meditator.  Though a fast had to get me more prominently rooted into this art.  It is a hard thing to untangle, settle, and expand empty space in your mind.  One couldn't realize the undiscipline of the inner anxious child until they try to wrangle him to stillness.  But it's actually shocked me just how much of a difference it has made for me.  My mind truly is still, and I can tell embedded subconscious belief systems (some that I was aware of and some I wasn't) have shifted and erased.  I feel much more supreme.  And lately, I have not been anxious or impatient, and my self-worth feels strong and steady.  I have specific resources that have worked very well for me (namely a sun light and a meditation app).

I've also been reading a lot.  I snuggle on the couch next to Ryan every evening, and I gorge myself in novel after novel.  I found this Australian author who has topped my list of favorite authors.  Liane Moriarty.  Her character development is the best I've ever witnessed, and her writing is so relateable and entertaining, and her plots are genius!  And because of this, I am currently reading every last one of her books.  And then, I will need someone to retrieve her journals, and I will exchange my entire 401(k) for them.

And work.  My job has been so fulfilling for me.  I haven't really shared here what my new career life looks like.  It took some time to shape.  But, I partnered with a tax CPA company, joining as their 3rd CPA, and we are looking to expand the business by 400%, which excites me to have all that sprinting room in front of me.  Remember how at my corporate jobs, I couldn't even stretch my legs without getting hit with a wooden stick.  Then I have some of my own clients on the side where I operate as an accounting manager.  It's really thrilling for me.  I love the respect that people give to a CPA.  I love knowing things that can create such positive value for people and businesses.  In the beginning of this shift, I was so overwhelmed with the learning curve.  Let's just say I made stuff up a lot, and then researched later.  I experienced intense discouragement on rougher days.  But then, one day I opened a word document, and I set two intentions for myself to measure my success:  (a) Did I make an impact on someone today?  (b) Did I learn something new today?  Since then, I have had a successful day every day.

And socially.  Well, I'm that newlywed who won't leave the side of her husband - I love this time too much.  But I do invite over my friends sometimes.  And I have a really wonderful new visiting teaching companion.  And I have also joined a business networking group, where 30 different business owners come together each week and network to give each other more referrals.  This group is becoming such good friends and comrades for me.  I love the feeling of this loyalty and community.  Only one type of business owner can be in the group, and I am the CPA rep.  Today I was told that they selected me over some other CPA applicants, even though I had way less experience, but I seemed far more motivated.  I appreciated that.  It is true; I am not riding on 35 years of experience.  All I have is another word document titled "Daily Study" where I read a tax law or financial brief each day and write down one new thing I've learned.  I'm a baby in this arena, but I'm not intimidated.  Slow and steady.  I'll get there. 

And marriage.  Oh man.  I can't even say how perfect being married to Ryan is.  This is the joy that I always believed in.  I knew when I was so so little that a relationship could be this intimate and powerful.  He is such a great husband and fun sidekick.  Our world together is so gentle, loving,  happy, and full of laughter.  Okay, also I seriously have a laughing problem.  Worse than ever, I just break out into laughter and just laugh and laugh, wheezing to Ryan as he patiently waits for me to finish, "Don't you ever just need to LAUGH?"  "Yes," he says, "But I've never met someone who laughs so much at nothing!"  This life is like a storybook, and it makes me so happy that I laugh hysterically over it.  "Just do what you gotta do," Ryan always tells me.

And now, Ryan has finished cooking dinner.  So I will eat next to him, and then finish up my latest Moriarty novel.  Did I mention that my husband is a top chef, cooking us seared salmon and filet mignon and veggie hashes?  Last night, I tried to make fish and squash.  That was it.  But then in an effort to correct one cooking error, I added this, and then to correct that error, I altered that, and to correct that, blended this.  And before I knew what was happening, it become some sort of a fish squash soup with an avocado milkshake dressing.  Haha!  It was the weirdest thing.  But it tasted fine enough.  And, neither Ryan or I are surprised by this cooking chemistry between us.  I knew he cooked everything so gourmet and exquisite, and he knew that I combined everything in the kitchen all at once, and it ends up tasting surprisingly decent everytime.  (Although one time he did question one of my breakfast concontions because it looked exactly like mold.  Not kidding about this either.  It was the spirulina powder and chia seeds.  Straight up lumpy green and fuzzy gray.  HAHA!)


Upward and onward.  To an evening with my husband, and warm food, and good reading.  Life is grand.

my view right now:

getting ready for the day.  Just fun.
Headed out on a date with Ryan's best friend, Mike, and Mike's wife Christy.

image source

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