Parenting by Principle, Not Preference

26 May 2016

My dreams are very vivid.  Which my acupuncturist told me is normal in pregnancy.  Last night I had a dream with a thick and active plot line, but I remember waking up with a lesson in mind and feeling like I needed to write it down.  I was the child figure in my dream, and a set of parents were sitting me down to talk seriously.  I was also indirectly one of the parents.  As the child, I desperately wanted to run from a responsibility that I felt unwarranted, and my "parent's" sat me down to discuss, because they felt strongly about me being responsible in this situation.  The conversation occurred more in my mind than it did through the dream characters.  The lesson was - let's each vocalize the priority we are wanting right now, as both of us have valid and true desires.  Let's then see which priority is better for me - child persona - and for the family as a whole.  I wanted freedom and decision-making to be placed in my hands.  They wanted a disciplined and secure future.  Both valid. 

We decided, in this circumstance, the higher priority should be honoring my autonomy, and my parent's were grateful to me for allowing us all to understand one another better.

Then I awoke for the day, thinking deeply about this.  I thought about how it is so important to honor your children, and though safety and discipline is always paramount, we can understand each other and be comfortable taking the path that is better for the higher priority.  It was a cool concept to think about sitting down and everyone vocalizing their core motive and desire.  Maybe a parent or child won't always have the best and highest priority.  Maybe they will be a choice between two good things.  But perhaps lining up our intentions with each other's will help every party to make the best choice and not be so filtered and isolated to their own standing.

This reminds me of a comment my friend made in Relief Society.  Be careful to parent off principle, not preference.

Upward and onward,

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