Run the Night Away

01 May 2017

up on the main road, about 4 miles from my house  

I did something tonight that I haven't done in awhile.  Probably, longer than a year ago.  And for those of you that have known me for a long time, you are going to fall off your chair when you find out, because it will not compute in your brain that I have not been doing this all along.

I went for an evening run.

I need not explain to my friends and roommates that date back to my years of single womanhood, because I went for an evening run every single night.  And sometimes not just one.  Sometimes two.  And not just little jaunts around the block.  Miles upon miles.  Hours upon hours.  I was many things back then, but I was mostly a Runner.

If a line graph were presented of my running mileage history, you would see the decline when Ryan and I began entering the serious zone of dating.  And once married, and now baby, the line is like one dot every couple of weeks.  Not because I'm lazy or demotivated, but because I never feel like I can soak up enough time with Ryan.   I just want to be with him in the evenings.  And during the day, I do not enjoy running with a baby in a stroller.  So there you have it, options are far more limited.  So I switched up my fitness to morning workouts and afternoon boxing classes. 

Except tonight.  Tonight was incredible.

I went to boxing class and gave a real solid, panting effort.  And then afterwards, I peeled myself away from my family and put on my ragged running shoes.  I estimate that I ran 7 miles.  And man, does it feel good.  I forgot what this feeeels like.  Talk about mentally rewarding.  While I run, my mind just wanders as it pleases, always a pleasure for me.  And something about the evenings bears the beauty of nostalgia.  Perhaps being surrounded by the setting sun and then the unwinding of the day.  Many times my runs have extended into the blackness of night, and I feel moved beyond everything in front of me and into the deeper nourishment of my soul.

That's why evening runs are so special to me.  As I run, I think about all sorts of times in my life - all these people and hilarious times and meaningful events.  And I feel generously wrapped up in blessings.  All fresh and content.  And sweaty and stiff ;)

I see it as a very great benefit that I have an outlet that makes so happy.  Because.... I need it.  Life, no matter how great, perhaps always needs a plug of endorphins for something or another.  And for me these days, try as I may to find a sense of belonging and tribalhood in my new life of mommydom, there are roadblocks that I'm still hurdling.  I've been on this uphill course for awhile, slowly wiggling my way into budding friendships.  Curse you shyness - and the slow process you require of building friendships.  And also my conflicting, sensitive heart that craves real deep relationships real fast, but also, has trust issues and hurt and walls. 

But after this run, I feel like I am in my right mind again.  I see the blessings of forming relationships, the love of loyal old friends, and I'm also feeling the boisterous confidence that comes from a good, long, hard run.  

Life feels millions of miles better when you love the life you had and have and are headed for.

Upward and onward,

* Random post-script.  In boxing class today, one strand of hair from my ponytail somehow got stuck to the end of my punching glove (lots of sticky sweat).  So when I went to swiftly punch the boxing bag, the one single strand of my hair went with the force of my glove and was ferociously ripped right out of my head.  Ahhh ow ow OW!  As people around me are training to be punched in the face in a boxing ring (or hopefully not punched, if they are good), I'm all freaking out because one hair was aggressively plucked from my head.  Haha!


Little spaces and places

Bath time for Miss Char!  Right after we shared my green smoothie breakfast :)  

(haha, this girl!!!)

Charlotte loves her little bath and splashing all around.  Meanwhile, I kneel beside her on the soft rug, while we listen to Amos Lee in the ambiant bathroom lighting.  Love these little moments. 

"Mom! I'm bathing!" 

Besides hanging out on the bathroom floor, these are some other scenes where Charlotte and I hang out.

Charlotte's library with some toys down below.  We read and rattle and eat the books.  (she does).

I love this little space!  I feel so much joy every time I open the door.

Charlotte's rocking chair.  With the most incredible fox quilt that my friend Emily sewed for her. 


And Ryan and I's favorite lately, the teething tablets pedastool!


All the little spaces and little places with Miss Char.

Upward and onward,

A first time for the two of us

Well, there is a first time for everything for a child.  But it's really special when you get to experience a first with your baby.  And on Saturday, Charlotte and I got to put on our snow gear and mow the lawn.  At the end of April.  (I say snow gear, but no, I did not go attempt to mow my grass under a sheet of snow.  It was just cold enough that we needed our eskimo outfits).

When I put on Charlotte's snow gear, she was wiggling all her little limbs but could not move.  It was so funny!  I could not stop laughing as she just laid in this position on the ground, staring happily at me:

HAHAHA!  Oh this kills me every time.

Upward and onward,